Love is a verb...

The other day I was having lunch with a co-worker who is about my age. She was talking about what it was like to life the single life in the City (San Francisco), and I was explaining to her what it was like to be married for 5 years. She looked at me earnestly and asked, "Are you happy? Do you ever regret getting married so young?" I thought that was on odd question. After all, the premise of much of television, books and movies is about finding that special someone, so I have always felt lucky that I have been with him since 19. I told her that I highly recommended marriage and that it was a wonderful adventure. It is like living with your best friend and conquering the world together. What could be better? She smiled and said that a lot of her friends who married young and had been with someone a long time wished they were in her position since they were unhappy in their marriages. I have heard that a lot. But you know, love is something that you do. I love the Clint Black song by that name because it talks about love as something you do not fall into or out of. It is something that you choose and live everyday. My grandmother was in an arranged marriage with a man who she never met. She said that you had no choices back then in China, so you obeyed your parents and trusted that it would turn out okay. And in the end, she found a man who loved her, and they were married for nearly 45 years before he passed away. To this day, she continues to honor his memory even though it has been over 20 years since he passed on. I believe that love is a verb... It is not ephemeral, based on the whim of a physical attraction. It is made up of a thousand choices and actions. And that is what makes marriage last.