Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Not sure I can do this again...

I am about 230 days pregnant, and I have just about had it. Last night (and off and on for the past few weeks), I had this terrible shooting pain down my leg, and on a scale of 1 to 10, I would classify this as a 9.5. I mean, it was so painful that I almost just fell to the ground in agony. I have not felt this type of pain ever in my life. And I told my DH that I could not do it again. I mean it is one thing to be pregnant and stare down the final weeks, but to volunteer for this again? I am not sure I have it in me. I am starting to wonder how the human race has propagated for thousands of years. Honestly, I love my baby, but it is hard to see past the crazy pain some days. Someone from work asked me today, "How do you think pregnancy affects you mentally?" I thought for a second and replied, "You know, I have not developed 'mommy brain', and in general, I have not noticed a change in my ability to accomplish things other than being tired. However, I do have to say that being in debilitating pain is overwhelming. That, above everything else, is what impacts me most, and I never expected it when I got pregnant." Pain is an interesting thing. It masks everything else around you to the point where you cannot see straight. And being pregnant, you really cannot take anything to dull it. So as I stare down the last 4.5 weeks, I am struggling to stay positive and see past the agony that wakes me up 10 times a night and makes it hard for me to even stand up. Thirty-four days... thirty-four days... thirty-four days... I just need to keep looking at Caroline's blog to see the baby at the end of this long tunnel.


Blogger Shirley said...

Sciatica? Hopefully it gets better for you! If you think that this part is bad, just wait. Course you'll probably breeze thru labor and delivery though. I got 3 epidurals. Does that tell you anything? LOL! But then drugs tend to wear off quickly for me.
Mommy brain usually doesn't come until after you have the baby and are totally sleep deprived for the first couple of months. Just remember that in the end it's ALL worth it! You forget about the pregnancy, you forget about all the labor pains, you watch your baby get older, and then you want another one. Vicious cycle.... ;)

6/08/2006 04:33:00 AM  
Blogger cass said...

so sorry deb, that really stinks :(
what has your dr. said?
if it is sciatica i have a drug free suggestions that may help...i've had it off and on for years
feel better
cass @ papertales

6/09/2006 07:44:00 PM  
Blogger judi said...

Hang in there, Deb. Sciatica stinks.

6/12/2006 02:38:00 PM  

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